I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
