You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
