forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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