New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
