Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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