Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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