Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm like, not good at living.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
