if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
