Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
