twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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