did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
