so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
