I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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