You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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