Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
