two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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