wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
