i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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