After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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