You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
