Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
