Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if only i could text you this smell
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize