he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
