just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
