I think my fart just growled at me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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