on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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