Sry I called you an 8
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
