I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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