You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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