Will you blow on my dice?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
