Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
