with your own penis?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
