and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
