ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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