Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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