I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
