I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
