Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize