I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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