One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your cock deserves a montage
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
