"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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