hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize