I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
