I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
3pm strippers are depressing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
