Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
wow bdsm is so cute
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
