Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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