What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
