Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
