is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
