the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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