Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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