That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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