Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
