The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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