In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
