it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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