i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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