I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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