guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
