So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
