Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
