3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize