He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
